Sometimes, life is so unfair. You already have the best of it in your control but things are becoming so complicated until you reach the point that you have to let it go. If this one thing that you wanted to hold is already hurting you, what is the point of keeping it. My friend try to hold on too. She tried to take control as well, but same as me, its hurting her too so she decided to let it go like me. We can't even eat well because we're so affected by the loss of it.