February 28, 2011

My Little Angel

Last year marks a special event not only in my life but also to that of my family. A little angel was entrusted for us to keep which bound to give an everlasting joy.  One who gives joy to an aching heart and a reason worthy enough of all the sacrifices.  I am hoping that someday this little bundle of joy will appreciate everything that was and will be given and may it all be enough to cover the missing part. An extra love from one person can cover it all.

 I hope you’ll get to read this someday, so you’ll know you’re not taken for granted but loved. Leaving home is so difficult, for it gives me and everyone the imagination that you are waving to me while crying. It’s hard because it’s breaking my heart and soul.  But going back is an excitement. It made me want to fly all the way home and cuddle you.

Dear little one, someday you will ask questions which right now we’re preparing to answer. It is in my greatest belief that you will understand because you will grow as a loving person surrounded by so much love and affection. Things will not be normal, I know. Things will be difficult, that’s for sure.  But no matter what, you still have us, especially me. You are the most perfect, most awesome and the most special person in this world, for the joy you bring is countless, endless and priceless
I have your letter here. Open it someday! I Love you!

February 26, 2011

Money Matters but it doesn't Matter

If the issue is money, I don't want to talk about it. I haven't save enough money from the last few months.. I feel bad when I can't feed the bank account. I would like to live my life on the policy of Giving, Saving and Living on the rest. I heard this from a religious organization in the television and I know it made sense. For some reason, I can give............... and live on the rest............... but not save!!!

As a human being, sometimes I found myself so envious of  those girls driving their own car. Those rich people having their mansions built on the most famous and well know subdivisions in the land even though my real dream is just a simple home. When can I go non stop shopping and travelling? I know the answer lies from nowhere. I know shouldn't think about these things because in doing so will bring me to nowhere and most apparently to the land of destruction.

Rather than having self-pity, I would rather count the blessings. Instead of what is gone, count what is left. Yes, I haven't save enough but I am glad that all those money intended to feed the bank account were spent entirely for my health and in providing the needs of my love ones :P.

Remember the day I told you that what  I can taste is only the extremes I had an appointment with the doctor last weekend and he told me that if we cannot fix this problem it will destroy my taste buds and sense of smell and they might not go back to normal anymore. I am terrified with the news! What will happen to me if I cannot distinguished even the smell of an edible and spoiled milk.

I know I have to deal with it, no matter what. I kept on praying that everything will fall into place. I have another appointment this weekend to see if I need further examinations and laboratory test. Let's see what will happen but I am staying positive. The doctor gave me thumblike medicine which are so difficult to swallow and not to mention are very expensive. And if funding this medications means having another job, I would gladly take it by all means especially now that expenses are becoming bigger and bigger. I have high hopes that everything will be back to normal  in no time. Please pray for me and have a great weekend everyone.

February 23, 2011

Where is Our World Going?

This Friday, the Filipino people will once again commemorate the freedom of the Philippines against the 20 years of authoritarian government. 25 years had already passed after EDSA Revolution but our ancestors can still recall how the Filipino people joined hand and united in their advocacy of regaining the democracy of our country.

But in time for our celebration, one country is suffering against the hand of a brutal leadership. A leader which should guide the nation is currently oppressing its own people. And as I am writing this post, there were breaking news that  300 people were already killed and that includes children.

Moreover, the fight isn't fair!  How can  Libyans fight for their freedom if what's gazing down them are army/air force which were also reported to have attacked the protesters.

photo source
The citizens of Libya aren't alone in their fight. People from all over the world who are much in love with democracy and freedom are praying for this nations' liberation against long years of imbalance. May Libya gain it's freedom in time with our celebration. 
Photo osurce

February 22, 2011

On Your Birthday

I know she's looking down upon you and wish you only the best like all mothers do, and because of that, this poem is for you. (if you can call it a poem, because by all means, I'm not a poet. Forgiveness everyone).
It’s your birthday,
I don’t know what to say,
Should I send you a cake or
Wish you a good day.

We’re not friends neither enemies,
You’re not aware of the circumstances;
By chance in God’s house,
I saw you, but we didn’t meet.

My brain has no more to say,
If I’ll let it rule, it’ll be driven by pride,
Because you’ve hurt me, let’s admit,
But in reciprocity, you act like it was I who did.

Fate maybe harsh, brutal or scheming,
Shrewd, sly and cunning,
If destiny wills, let’s admit
It has its own course and do not forfeit.

If you can’t understand, at least respect;
My silence does mean we cannot connect,
There are more important matters, than childish concerns,
You have to remember I have someone to protect.

But for you my heart has so much to convey,
I feel your pain, your mother is away.
No matter how much love you’ll get;
No one can replace her, that’s my bet.

On this day, let’s forget;
The heartaches and pains each one begets,
It’s your birthday and I wish you more fun
That’s all I can do, for a girl who I wish will have fun under the sun.

February 19, 2011

Crazy Little Thing Called Pillow

I have one secret that you guys should know but it's our secret okay!. I am working on night shift and because of that I am deprived of the opportunity to sleep at night. That's why I always look forward to US Federal Holidays because that means a good night sleep for me, so when it comes, I grab the opportunity to have the bonding time with my bed. To recuperate from my nostalgia I have this inside my bag:

Yes, a baby pillow which always reminds me that I have something good to look forward to and the cradle of my soul is waiting......MY HOME it is a plus factor that I can use this pillow when sleeping during breaks, with my face directly to the circle inside. Haha! Have a great weekend everyone!

February 17, 2011

Love in Time of Facebook

Farmville, Farmtown, Cityville, Social City, Frontierville, Marketplace, Pet Society, Sorority Life, Restaurant City, Cafe World....name it, I played it. I remember the days when I was so addicted in playing games not just to kill the time but it also requires strategic planning to level up. Oh, those days, but I do not intend to discuss those games on this post but rather the so called changed way of Filipino courtship now that Facebook is widely exalted by everyone.

photo source
Dated back to the old days, when a man found a woman interesting he cannot approached her on the street to ask for her number or address. Doing so will both subject them to criticisms. He should do it the proper way by introducing himself to the family and eventually to the girl. He also have to do the traditional Filipino way of courtship called "Harana" or Serenade at night and render servitude like gathering and chopping woods, fetching water and the like during the day.

Whereas today, courtship is more lenient. Often, teenagers and everyone express their love through Facebook. Sending messages, posting sweet words on your wall and not to mention those applications associated with Facebook with endless pick-up lines which make the couple  highly inlove with each other sometimes disregarding their family's views and opinions. It's more of "I don't care about you my family, I'm inlove and don't interfere, okay".

I'm not against Facebook. I have one of course, but I still love the traditional way of courtship. For me it is better and sweeter than any message sent on my inbox, better that those glittering images and colorful applications men posts on my wall. Isn't it sweet when a man visit your house and will express his love right in front of your family. That shows pure intention. Right?

As I am the one who will decide who I want but I like it more if my family would be involve and express their opinions with the man I choose and the most important thing is that the family of the man will accept me beyond words and matters. 

February 15, 2011

The Greatest Love

When I entered the building, the security guard greeted me, "Happy Valentines Day Maam". I smiled at him but my mind is saying I am stupid. OH gosh, I forgot it's 14 today and I am wearing a red blouse. How awkward is that uh?. I just grabbed the first one I saw when I opened the closet, but who cares anyway.  Don't get me wrong, I don't hate this day, it just so happened that sometimes our mind is very preoccupied that we tend to forget other things that matters. If my mind would work this way until May, then I will say, I may forget my own birthday too.

"What is love?", I asked google. It gave me the definitions from simple to complex, from being the strongest feeling for human being to being the most difficult question for mankind. What?  because as what is said, defining love is near to impossible. But one thing that caught my attention is unconditional love.  Is there anyone in this world who could love us unconditionally (except God)?

For me the only person who could give us a very special love is the only person who had the guts to carry our weights inside their body for 9 months. Suffer the months of conception, the craving and the mood swings. The woman who was very happy when you opened your eyes inside your crib. The woman who drag herself to the kitchen when  she feels you need your milk even when it's midnight. The woman who will wake up everyday to go to work so she could provide her child what he/she needs. The woman waiting for your firsts: first step, first word, first smile. The woman who feels tired but will not give up because the mere fact of  seeing you makes tiredness disappear with the blink of an eye. The only person who will never give up though the world seems to collapse just because you are there. 

As what Elizabeth Stone said, "making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body". This quote is my all time favorite and whenever I read it my eyes swell in tears.

Happy Valentines to all the mothers in the world. 

February 11, 2011

Sister's Love

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like you to meet my sisters. My sisters not by blood but by heart. Though we never see each other that much I know the connection that binds us is unending. We may not talk often but our hearts still have each other. May you always be guided by God's love and the distance between us will serve as a way for us to be longing and love each other more than much.

All I have for you is my 
highest respect, deepest gratitude and unconditional love. 
Thank you so much for all the memories that we shared and will be sharing 
and for that I will be forever grateful.

February 10, 2011

Father's Love

February is heart's month. Most people believe that this month is intended for lovers but I strongly disagree. February is the month for love but sharing and expressing our love can be done everyday.  And for that I would like to dedicate one post for my father who I am sure is looking down to me from heaven. I miss the days when we use to laugh together, those days when we dance just for fun. I remember the times I come with him when he paid his friends a visit.

A toast for the man who never hate it when I tag along with him,
For the man who had loved me unconditionally,
For the man who regards me as special,
For the man who accompanied me,
when I rode my bike.

photo source
Thank you for everything and,
happy hearts month to my father

February 8, 2011

I can Taste only the Extremes

 October 25, 2010, Monday
I went on my way to the office with heavy shoulders, like I'm Atlas carrying the world.
I wasn't able to fix the things I wanted to settle.
The rain is pouring so heavy like it wanted to wash away the tears. 
I have no umbrella.

I rushed through the raindrops, like I was the thunder.
"You cannot stop me, I have to be there, it's almost time, I can't be late".
I reached the office, so exhausted, all soaked in water,
With the jacket on my head and a bag on my shoulder.
What a stressful day after a devastating weekend.

Fast forward: The day after that, I had a non-stop fever. I fed myself with medicines but none cure the illness. November 30, I went home for the holiday. That same day I was rushed to the hospital and the doctor found out I had lapses. My immune system became weaker and weaker each day due to stress and allergies. They also found out that due to those factors, my sinuses were affected somehow leaving me taste and smell impaired. And now here it goes, I can taste only the extremes: (super sweet, super, sour, super salty and super bitter). For the rest of the food, they're all the same and smells the same
Because of that I  lost my appetite which made me so skinny. I never crave for anything. I want my taste buds back. I want my sense of smell to be effective again.

February 6, 2011

Oh Yeah, it's Her 18th Birthday

I noticed that there are so many birthdays coming, on the 14th, 19th, 22nd and 26th. This month will be a time for birthday message and all.

I know you guys will be on rest this weekend and so do I, but I will not go home, since my brother got home from Sudan, there's someone who will take good care of my beloved H2. He let me visit every other week, so I could also take a rest and cope with the stress and not push myself to the limit again. Thanks big brother.

And since my whole weekend will be spend entirely for (-_-)zZzZz, yep, you got it right....for sleeping, I decided to schedule one post for you guys just in case you come online and do some blogging stuffs, to keep you updated what I've been up to this past weeks.

Last January 19, 2011 was the 18th birthday of Jeanne. If my memory isn't a failure yet, I know I haven't mention her here. Well, Jeanne is one of the most special girls in my life. One of the few I guess, who really touches my heart directly to the soul which no one could ever imagine. She play a big role in my life, though people tend to misunderstood her most of the times. She was being labeled as the "pasaway" (naughty in English....hmmm if I'm right) because if she wants something, she'll definitely fight for it, till you just scream your lungs out and will say, "okay, do it as you please". I'll tell you, she's like one big shouting panda when she's angry, but let me tell you why she's so special.

It was February 2004, when I first met her at the Church during a mass for Ash Wednesday. That moment was vividly saved in my memory and will always be till the end. And so it was, we became closer and closer to each other when her brother became my boyfriend. Although they were the best of enemies (just on simple and petty things, but they really look like each other) she never took it against me and in fact, she always ran to me for advises and sorts. I served as her confidant.

Whenever they have discussions over some matters, and that monster look is going out, I simply hold her hand and shook my head and she will simply let it go, just that easy, without any arguments. I am very touch and blessed for the HIGH RESPECT this girl has for me. I never always say yes to what she wants. I argue with her if what she wants is not reasonable and I disagree with things when she's wrong. But until now, I can't imagine why she behold that respect and love for me.

Not to say much, she celebrated her 18th birthday to a resort the family rented last January 22nd with an Hawaiian inspired theme. I wasn't suppose to come, because as you all know, things are so complicated. But who am I to say NO to this wonderful girl, so I did said Yes, but with one condition,....I don't want them especially her to fight and talk about the past anymore.

I'll do a recap of the whole event on the coming posts, cause that weekend was too long that it's like a lifetime for me to finish it. For now, I'll let you see some of the photos taken during the birthday.

the preparation for the birthday...this is Jhen, the sister of the debutant. she was so busy that day, helping in preparing the venue.
the proud parents....Mama and Papa
the sisters: Jhen, Jeanne and Jaylitte. 

Jaylitte and Jeboy

I am very much speechless. I am so happy to see them dancing together (the song...I'M YOURS) , like they're the best of friends in the whole wide world, well in fact, they easily clash with each other like it's the end of the world. hahaha. they crack me up, when they're fighting.
but this is the highlight of the event. This moment made me cry a river. She thought her special friend wasn't coming so she scratch his name on the list of 18 roses. at the end he was called and he surprisingly came out. it turned out that he was just hiding all the while to surprise her. so cute. this is the - I don't care if you see me crying time. I'm touched and i just can't control my tears. I'm so happy for my bebe Jeanne.

18 Candles: It's so sad that Ate Malhou wasn't there but she somehow managed to send her greetings through a video straight from Canada. I stood up when it's my turn to speak. I was about to convey a happy message, but seeing her crying made me pause for a while. I didn't say much. I know she already knew what I wanted to say.

It's a weekend which took like a gazillion years for me. We also went swimming, but I'll update you on that one on the next post.

Happy weekend everyone and maybe by the time you're reading this.....I'm already sneezing! hahaha!

February 4, 2011

For "YOU" who is Badly Broken

For someone who is experiencing heartache,
someone who's inlove but badly broken,

It's February and it's heart month. Happy Valentines everyone, however this post is not for me but for a  person who, I know is badly broken at this time. I will not mention the name for privacy purposes but I would like to express this feelings I have inside. If I could only talk to you right now. You need a crying shoulder but you're hiding the pain and that is what I'm afraid of. That kind of feeling is no stranger to me and you know that. Tell me to cross the China sea, I will. Tell me to climb Mount Everest, I will, without hesitation so you won't experience the same situation I had before. Really life is like a wheel, but with that being said, I never wished a lonely heart on you. 

But in serious thoughts, I know you can pass the challenge. With what I know, you've been through a lot and this one will be just like threading a needle, right? Difficult but possible. I barely see you but whenever I do, you seem to be in a normal state. Life is normal, life is continuous, life is easy and life is simple that's what I see in you. You never change and you never did in some ways that I knew you. You're still the same more or less.

If only my words could reach you, I will say.... please let it out asshole. Cry when it's needed, share it when it seems to be insurmountable. A problem shared will be divided so it would be easy to carry upon your shoulder. You have us so don't take it hard on you. When you thought I may not understand, that is the time I do.

Remember this:
photo source

February 1, 2011

Happy 2nd Year Anniversary

Yes, it is and as I barely noticed it, today marks the 2nd yead Anniversary of 14th Street. Started out on February 2009, with the simple intention of releasing the stress that is becoming too heavey for me to carry then. Before writing this, I visited my old posts and a smile was painted on my face. Oh boy, I'm still standing and I can't believe it. 
This blog served as a gateway for me to discover that the world has so much to offer. I've made new friends from all over the world. Some I haven't meet yet, but looking forward to that day when I could finally travel and see them. Nice friends who are so supportive and awesome individuals I called "Blogger Friends".

This is the right time to commend you for your greatness and for joining me through this journey. Thanks for the encouraging emails, letters and love you shown....which is a proof that this world is still a better place to live in.