March 31, 2011

Don't Lend me Your Shoes

Thank yo so much everyone for your kind comments with my previous posts. I just need a place to vent my emotions.

But hey have you ever felt any of the situations below?

1. that people around you aren't sincere with the words they're saying or With the emotions they want to convey? 
2. That co-workers are hitting you behind your back, pointing you the bullet straight to your head?
3. That people are talking about you secretly?
4. That you are a subject of gossip or rumors?
5. That people around aren't true and sincere?

And because of those thoughts, you're afraid to trust anyone? If that's the case then you might have Pistanthrophobia - Fear of trusting someone.

Why do people live with Pistanthrophobia? People suffer with this kind of phobia if they've been hurt and betrayed by the people they trust so much be that a family, friend, co-workers, or a partner. 

To some people this may be a bit over-reacting but have you ever tried putting yourself on the same situation? Like  your loved ones betraying you and your trust? You can easily conclude or judge people with this kind of problem as paranoid but I beg to disagree. 

"Been there and done that".... I know it's not easy to feel that way. However being subject to that kind of situation made me a quite sensitive person thinking that people have their own battles in life so who am I to judge them.

There's no need to lend me your shoes, I can feel yah, even if we're not wearing the same shoes.

Will you wait for that shoes to be yours to feel what they feel?

March 30, 2011

Question: Which Keyboard Shortcut?

While I am gathering my thoughts for that phobia post that I am about to share, I would like to ask you one question.

Due to the nature of my work, I am doing most stuffs for my blog at night in the office during break times, (shhhhh).  Some of my posts were scheduled while some were in draft waiting for the right time to shine.

Blogging in the office feels awkward. Especially when you feel that someone is watching, so I have to take safety precautions even though everyone here knows my blog. 

The question:  Which is the most useful keyboard shortcut if you're blogging in the office?

March 29, 2011

Life is Short, I need to let this out!

I took a leave from work today. I am feeling a little better however I woke up with a sad news. The mother of my friend passed away. This incident brought me back to a thought I am trying to escape. I know death is inevitable and our stay on earth doesn't have its certainty.

I don't know if sharing this would be the proper thing to do. I don't want to earn neither sympathy nor pity. I just want to lighten the burden and I hope you bear with me I am this emotional today.
Lately I have been receiving a lot of sweet messages on Facebook, messages on my phone, a lot of phone calls and private messages. I am not ignoring them as a matter of fact I am concerned and happy that somehow these people who are sending this messages didn't stop remembering me. It only proves that the more I am staying away, the more they persevere to see and stay in touch with me.

Before me and my ex separated, he told me that I could still visit his family. He told me that his sisters will always be my sisters and we're still family no matter what because he said he loves me he's just not in love with me.  The last few months of our relationship, I spent mostly with his family which drew me closer and closer to them each day while he was nowhere to be found ( don't ask me where, okay). That made us more of like a sibling and not couple anymore.

When we've gone our separate ways, there were family occasions, they invited me in and before I commit, I am giving my conditions, "I don't want to talk about the past anymore".

Things may have been running a little smooth but in every  journey there are rough roads. There is one sole reason why I can't stay in touch with the family who accepted me and still loves me. The son is in a new relationship now of which the family is not in favor with. A relationship why ours no longer exist.

I often talk to them to accept it. Accept the relationship and more specifically the girl but no matter how much I would want to, I cannot waive their decision. I did that not to impress anyone, I just want everything to be alright and more so I don't want fingers pointing at me saying I am the reason why she wasn't accepted till now. 

The family's reason. "We're not the one to choose who he will end up with. It's his choice and not ours. All what we wanted is to put everything in it's proper place be done in the right manner with no one being hurt. You see, it's more pleasing when you go out and enter with a new one with pure conscience and with no one being stepped in. We don't have any problem if it's not you, but we still wants the best for him". Period, I shut my mouth.

With that I made a decision. I will stay away from them if that would make them accept it. If not then I will no longer be a subject of malicious minds, degrading words and hearth breaking emails.

That decision I made is melting me like a candle with both ends burning. I saw one  recent picture of Mama (that's what I call her). I noticed the big difference in her with the last time I saw her personally. She's so skinny and I am afraid to say she's getting old. At the span of the moment, I wanted to run and see her but there's nothing I could do. I don't want to hear the words I heard before for they are so traumatic. Yes indeed! Very very Traumatic. 

I wanted to see her and make up for the time I denied and refuse her request to see me. Those traumatic words I heard made me stay away from the family especially to a mother I learned to love as my own. 

Now I am more afraid of the fact that she's getting old and I might not have the chance to see her again.

March 27, 2011

100 Reasons why a son needs a Dad

One post I read yesterday made me emotional because I find it rare for people to express how they feel when they've found out they're soon to be father. It touches my sleeping emotions from hair to toes down to my bone marrows. Akoni I salute you, I commend you and I admire you! 

I bought this a long time ago. Aside from the quotations, there're pictures which illustrates the quotations on the best way possible. This is my simple tribute to fathers who had showed great love to their children.

I'll post 5 out of 100 reasons why A son needs a Dad:

1. To tell him he is proud of him
2. to show him unconditional love
3. so that he will have at least one hero he can depend on
4. to make the family whole
5. because without him he will have less in his life than he deserves. (Gregory E. Lang)

Good luck Akoni! You'll be a great father, that's for sure with all the words from you that I read yesterday. Just make sure you'll be there for him/her when he/she needs you the most. One thing more, every child needs their father and mother's affectionate touch. That helps them develop fully. More than financial support, every child needs his/her father's love.

and  Happy Birthday Emmanuel Mateo!!! Where's the party? hahaha!

March 26, 2011

The Seven Wonders of the World

I received this video from a friend way back 2008. Actually I haven't met him personally. He just happened to be a client of our company and his account has been assigned to me. I am not quite sure if he is a pastor but I know they're sending missionaries all over the world to spread the word of God.  I dug this from an email he sent me over more than 3000 unread messages on my inbox and thought of sharing it to you. 

I don't know who did this video so I cannot give proper credits, however I know that this is meant to be shared to all the people out there. 

1. To See - Our eyes were given to us to see the beauty of the world and to see the beauty in others. Because not all that can be seen by our naked eyes are true. Let us use them to construct and not to criticize or destroy other people. 

2. To Hear - Our ears are there so that we can be open to people who needs someone to listen to them and not to use them for gossips and rumors.

3. To Touch - To touch is something prerogative when you love cause this adds to the magical feeling.

4. To Taste - We should use our tongue to enjoy the  wonderful taste of foods in the world. Remember to guard our tongue because our words can make or break a person for thoughtless words can cause wounds deeply as any sword

Words said no matter how sorry you are in the end cannot reciprocate the hurt we may cause to others. (I just added this one, as you can notice on the video, #4 was missing)

5.  To Feel - Lucky are we to feel the different kinds of emotions. Be it fear, pain, anger or worries, feel them and let them make you a better person.

6.  To Laugh - Laughter is the best medicine as they say. Enjoy it while we can still enjoy the sense of being happy.

7. To Love - Did you ever tried locking your  heart because of the fear of being hurt again?  Believe me when I say pushing love away is so hard to endure. That isn't healthy because it will eventually draw you away from people.

Let the question be "How much love do you give?" rather than "Are you in love?"

March 25, 2011

Respect begets Respect

At this certain point in time, I still don't know how you we're able to read my words on your computer screen (thanks for reading). I had a notion that words are being transported from my computer wires to internet cables right through your monitor (and that's literal!! I'm such an idiot)

What will happen if the World Wide Web (www) would crush right now? That is what I am asking to a friend on a letter I wrote the other week. It didn't bother me because I can still meet her because we're friends and I know where she lives. Sorry, I didn't ask, I wished, (sorry again, don't kill me people). I just want to feel the old world when we communicate through snail mail. Simply amazing I guess, or maybe I was just saddened by the fact that I don't know where to collect stamps. Booo (me and not you)!

But on second thought, how about the online friendship that I was able to established to the people from different parts of the globe, people from all walks of life, old and young, poor and rich, average (i don't want to use the word ugly) and beautiful. Going back to the world wide web crushing, I am taking my wish back (palabra de honor - que barbaridad). I don't wanna loose connections to you people who had showed great respect to my thoughts and respected me for who I am (*wink*, *cry*, *smile*, *high five*)

My heart beats fast whenever you mentioned me in your post (that's highly appreciated).   I am amazed how we, people with different views found our common denominator and meet halfway. 

This blog made me reach the other end of the world. I was overwhelmed with wonderful people both foreign and locals, half Filipinos and others who accepted me without criticisms and most of all are not racist.  For that I am thankful.

I respect you beyond imagination, whether you are blogging anonymously. I don't care if you're using your real name or not, sharing pictures or not. Whatever is the voice of your blog, when I followed, I see the good in your house (i mean your blog).

OH gosh this is way too long than I expected........when all I want you to know is that I RESPECT YOU ALL. thanks! bow!

March 23, 2011

Chasing Each Other

More often than not, we're chasing each other. When I needed him the most he forsaken me. He always leave me alone when I am in dire desire to have him. When I come home in the morning, he is with me only to leave in no time to abandon me again.

Likewise, it also happens vice versa. When he wanted to have me, I am busy doing something and busy with my work. Sometimes during breaks, I sneak out to meet him only to leave him again.

When he wanted me, I am not free and when I needed him he is running away from me. That happens all the time

When will our time meet?

Will our departed ways cross again?

When will we fulfill each other's longing?

When will we give our time for each other?


How I miss you so much!

I wanna be reunited

with my departed

Goodnight Sleep

Lucky are you who have the time to sleep at night. It's refreshing and far more different and way better than sleeping in the morning. Value it like the way you value your diamonds.

"Those little things we took for granted would mean so much to us in the future. We'll realize their importance only when they're gone and chances are we cannot embrace them back. Love them when we still have the chance and with this I hope you can read between the lines."

March 16, 2011

7 Facts: Getting to know each other

Fate is really working its way because a sweet friend, ChinaDoll (thanks!) gave me this 7 Facts award and stylish blogger award. In lieu to that, I have to share Seven Unknown Facts about me. And in accepting this award, I have to: 

1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to their blog.
2. Post seven random facts about yourself.
3. Pass on the award along to 15 other worthy bloggers.

Seven Facts about me that you should know:

1. I am allergic to chicken but fried and roast  are to die for. The agreement is I should only eat chicken, once a week so the allergies won't come out or else I'll be scratching from head to toe.

2. I don't eat beans. Any kind of beans. Don't ask me why, I don't know either. 

3. I collect postage stamps and paper money/currencies from different countries.

4. I am using two towels when taking a bath and that is a must. I don't know maybe because I have low tolerance with cold weather.

5. I'm a runner (before). I used to run for my school until high school and a long jump player too but eventually I stopped.

6. I dip French Fries on gravy and mayonnaise instead of ketchup especially at McDonalds. So yummy!

7. I swore to exercise what is considered to be the noblest profession on earth. Yes, you got it right, I am a teacher (handling business subjects and economics) by profession but decided to take another route for a change. You see there are great expectations and no room for mistakes. I need a room to breathe. Hello world, were humans too. 

Instead of 15, I choose 7. Too lazy uhhh, nope! I want to know more about my new blogger friends:

1. Tina - (Florida) Girl with a New Life
2. Mayen - Clicks and Cuts
3. Mommy Raz - Welcome to my World
4. Haze - How Far is Heaven
5. Nash - My Blissful Journey
6. Dadedidodhong - Dadedidodhong
7. Al - Pasumangil 

March 15, 2011

I tried my Best to Save it

While browsing old posts from March and April last year, this one caught me laughing alone and  immensely happy. I just want to share it with you. 

Yes, I confess, I tried to save it but it's not meant for me. I can see it flying, slipping through my bare hands while trying to grasp it. I know it's hard, I admit the process is painful. It's like my whole body will bent and be distorted due to the physical pain my effort to save it brought to my body.

Sometimes, life is so unfair. You already have the best of it in your control but things are becoming so complicated until you reach the point that you have to let it go. If this one thing that you wanted to hold is already hurting you, what is the point of keeping it. My friend try to hold on too. She tried to take control as well, but same as me, its hurting her too so she decided to let it go like me.  We can't even eat well because we're so affected by the loss of it.




















table napkin


It's useless to take a grip of something which is not worth the pain and sufferings. Don't hold back when it's time to let go. Good things fall apart so good things can fall together.

March 12, 2011

Be Safe and Sound

I'm such a lazy human being for spending my entire day sleeping. I feel awkward not turning the television this afternoon, I missed the news. The tsunami that hit Japan was devastating as well as traumatic. And seeing this warning on Google made me wanna fly home. Are we over? Who and what's next? This alter my plan of not posting today because I feel the urgency to wish you all well. 

Another lives were taken which is a proof that life is too short to live foolishly.  

If you are happy right now, then I am glad for you. Enjoy it to the utmost because not all people were given the chance to be happy and well.

If you are burdened, worried, in pain, and troubled, lift it high. Change your Sufferings to Offerings and simply look at the brighter side of life. You are luckier that other people.

If you were betrayed, it's time to walk forward. Don't let your past block your future. Bad memories are so hard to bear that you should not let yourself be taken back to the so called "descent to hell".

Let all goodbyes be GOOD-BYES. Sometimes it is necessary so that you can meet them again.

Be safe and sound everyone. Hope you had a great weekend.

March 11, 2011

The Two Sides of Our Stories

Two of your friends had a great deal of misunderstanding. Friend number 1 is known to be clever and naughty while friend number 2 is conservative and silent. Whom will you take side with? Who will you believe, when each of them had their own version of the story? Would you believe the witness who sworn they saw what had happened? Or to make the situation lighter, let's say your friend had a fight with a stranger. I know most of us including me will eagerly defend our comrade without any questions. Would you believe your friend? I bet that's a YES!

What do you see?
an old woman?
an elegant lady?

Like this optical illusion, every event/situation were foretold with different version. We as human beings were bound to take sides as to what we knew was right and who we taught is holy or good. But did it ever came to you that somehow when we make judgement we sometimes mistakenly go on the wrong position because we only believe on what our bare eyes could see plus our hearts dictates that we should side here or there out of love.

I just realized no matter how long you knew someone, everyone is capable of telling fallacies. Do you know when court verdicts were served properly or justice was denied to the innocent? Would friends defy friends? NO. Will family sacrifice their clans' moral? of Course Not! That is what I'm taking about. 

Like everyone else, I am also prone to making false judgment. What I am trying to point is let us not indulge with our self-belief and drown ourselves to impurities when there is way to make things right. 

What is wrong is wrong and what is right is right. No excuses! Evaluate the 2 sides of the story and never judge outright. Cause people we are, were bound to mistakes and only HIM up there knows what truly happened. 

March 9, 2011

Get back here, When Summer is Gone!

November 2011, when we sat around a bonfire and this couple shared with us their love story. Maybe for them, they only wanted to express but their audience were left inspired and somehow believed that true love and fairy tales really exist.

photo by Lolo Photographer
According to them it was a love story which blossoms out of then so famous phone pal. I was so amazed with the love story that it never registered to me how did they got each others' phone numbers. All I can remember was, it was a love made in seventh heaven. A love between a nerd and an activist which like any other love affairs suffered storms and trials. For some reasons in between their story they were separated but as they say true love finds its way where it truly belongs.

Now this couple are living a happy life with their 2 children and lately celebrated their 10th year anniversary. "The big man" as I call him showed to us the letter his wife gave to him. Me, as they know will not let any moment pass, I took my cellphone and took a picture of the letter and did a simple slideshow to commemorate their love fore each other.

                                            "Picnik Show"

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Big Man:

I would like to share with you an anecdote I read from a book authored by Fr. Jerry Orbos. When Summer is Gone.  This I doubt would happen but I know nothing is impossible and if it was meant to be it will happen beyond circumstances, but in the end When summer is gone, the key is "Commitment" which is the foundation of all true loving. Long after the romance has died, long after the idealism and feelings have faded, long after summer is gone, love survives because of commitment. When you grow old and no longer remember each others' name, just remember the word "HONEY". It will save you from the pitfalls of forgetfulness and will inspire a lot of people. Happy Anniversary!!!

March 8, 2011

I have 2 Fathers, and one celebrated his birthday.

Hi Daddy, this post is late for your special day, sorry I was lazy busy with my work which is getting a bit messy that's why I have to focus. 

I am not referring to my father who is up there in heaven but my brother. He is the eldest and the only boy in a family with four siblings while I am the youngest. As they say, the eldest  heart is closest to the youngest heart. I could say, I am his favorite, or let us assume their favorite. I was born a menopause baby, needless to say, they were all grown up when I arrived. That is a very very satisfying coincidence that made me the apple of the eye of my whole family including aunties, uncles and cousins. I grew up with their eyes focused on me like an eagle. It seems like all my actions are pleasant to their eyes, but I didn't grew up as a brat.  My mother is there to balance it all. What is wrong is wrong and there is a corresponding punishment (just saying).

With the age gap between us, anyone can conclude that he is my father. At an early age, his friends and other people, told me he is father and I grew up calling him "Daddy". Who am I to say no? Children are gullible, right? When he is going to work, he needs to hide so I won't come chase him. He cannot wear his uniform in our house, cause I will scream the loudest cry. 

aren't we such a cutie?
 In all serious thoughts, thank you for everything. All my life it seems like I am grwoing up with 2 fathers (of course, that's our father and you). Like anyone else, you've been so proud with all my achievements and with the 4 of us, I could say we are the childish one. 

I miss pouring cold water unto you when you're taking a bath. The times when I chase you with a broomstick outside the house. The moment you came home drunk before, I told everyone to pretend we're sleeping so no one will open the door for you but you caught me giggling  and in return, you sprayed to me your most nose wrenching perfume. There were nights when I come home from college vacation we sneak out and buy hamburgers and eat them on the terrace. And on my birthdays, you always asks me "Money or Party"  and what do you expect? Of course I go for money.

With my sincerest gratitude for everything,  Happy birthday Daddy.

March 5, 2011

My Brain is a Mess

This week I was in monumental mess. My brain is littered with so many things which are not helpful and ones that I should forget and not given any pint of attention. Like for example:

The hard drive that was destroyed by a virus months ago. It contains all my old and new pictures. I am not storing data on the memory of my camera and cellphone because they tend to perform slowly when huge files are saved, so after taking pictures, I immediately transfer them, but to my dismay, those old treasures are gone forever. Damn virus- thanks to you, all my pictures taken last year were all gone. It's like goodbye 2010. Booo!!!

Next. Mistakes. No room for mistakes. It's work and everything should be near to perfection if not perfect. At least that's my thought. But this week is a dilemma for me. What's the problem? I can't focus. I was kinda shy and helpless for all the mistakes I committed. 

Sleep. Apparently, Mr. Sleep is not my bestfriend. He seems to hate me. We're always playing hide and seek.

The shampoo which I think is not doing any good to my hair and the  insane weather that is changing abnormally from time to time. My aching hips. 

And the naughty excuses my officemate is thinking when having absences:
1. Can I take a leave today? I have a heartache problem.
2. I'll be absent  today because I had a fight with my boyfriend/girlfriend
3. I'll not be in the office today. I'll do some soul searching.
4. Don't expect me in the office today. I will find time for myself.

She made sense right? 

March 3, 2011

Beauty or Character?

I wanted to write. There are so many ideas floating around my head but I cannot organize them to a decent post. My brain cannot process the thoughts though pretty good ideas are flowing. My brain is so dis-organized so to say.

Beauty or Character? Since I was a child, I was taught not to measure a person's worth and importance by mere physical appearance. No matter how a person looks, he/she is created uniquely and it is not their fault to have bear an appearance like that.  It is made with purpose and for a rare mission like anyone else. 

That's why I am not a fan of those who are blessed with beautiful face but do not embody a beautiful character. If they will use that great beauty they are gifted with to ridicule others then by no means I can say they are the ugliest person on the earth's atmosphere.  Nonetheless, criticizing people leads to destroying their inner self and  self-confidence. 

One man said, if you're looking for a one night stand go for beauty but if you're looking for a wife, choose character for beauty fades  through time and true beauty lies on good character. For when time comes, each an everyone will be judged not based on physical appearance but rather on a fruitful life imbued with beautiful character. 

Wouldn't it be nice to have both? If you have beauty, use it wisely. 

The question is now yours to answer, Beauty or Character?