I can Taste only the Extremes

 October 25, 2010, Monday

I went on my way to the office with heavy shoulders, like I'm Atlas carrying the world.

I wasn't able to fix the things I wanted to settle.

The rain is pouring so heavy like it wanted to wash away the tears. 

I have no umbrella.

I rushed through the raindrops, like I was the thunder.

"You cannot stop me, I have to be there, it's almost time, I can't be late".

I reached the office, so exhausted, all soaked in water,

With the jacket on my head and a bag on my shoulder.

What a stressful day after a devastating weekend.

Fast forward: The day after that, I had a non-stop fever. I fed myself with medicines but none cure the illness. November 30, I went home for the holiday. That same day I was rushed to the hospital and the doctor found out I had lapses. My immune system became weaker and weaker each day due to stress and allergies. They also found out that due to those factors, my sinuses were affected somehow leaving me taste and smell impaired. And now here it goes, I can taste only the extremes: (super sweet, super, sour, super salty and super bitter). For the rest of the food, they're all the same and smells the same

source

Because of that I  lost my appetite which made me so skinny. I never crave for anything. I want my taste buds back. I want my sense of smell to be effective again.

So, What should I do now?

Just at times when you feel things are so perfect they suddenly fall out of place and the people you want to stay tend to drift apart. Then, there you are, life is shattered and chaotic and before you knew it, you are being drowned to the deepest part of your loneliness and miseries. You don't want it, you run away, yet it continually chase you from all the corners of the earth. You don't have any escape. So what would you do then? FACE IT, of course, you have no choice except you'll let yourself be counted as one of the losers who just gave up without even trying. My point in this post is getting nowhere, yeah I know it.

I suddenly felt that the days of my life were trashed on the garbage bag. I feel so sorry that the days God gave me life were unproductive and I am just spending them sleeping and if awake thinking how life is so f****d up for me. Is it my destiny? Did God permitted it to happen. I feel so useless and that's all. 

Image Source

My plan of Round the World Travel (RTW), which is not coming to realization even at 1%. If this long-term goal would not come to realization then, I need to accept the fact that I'm not destined to be like Magellan (not to invade) who traveled from Atlantic to pacific and would end up traveling to Mactan and be a tourist to my own country. 

That also means I have plenty of time to throw away and procrastinate on things I should do. So if anyone of you needs help in sorting out things or if you have suggestions on what things I should do, feel free to send me an email at the14thstreet@gmail.com. Thanks