"Pride is the root of all evil while Humility is the mother of all virtues"
Lady: Father is it a sin to praise thyself?
Priest: What are you saying/doing to praise yourself?
Lady: Every morning, I face the mirror and tell myself, "You're so cute and Pretty".
Priest: Don't worry, that isn't a sin, that is merely an eye defect.
Albert Einstein was about to give a lecture on one conference. When he got to the car, his driver talked to him:
Driver: Sir, why won't you let me do the lecture on th conference. I will pretend as you and you will pretend as my driver.
Einstein: What a great idea!
On the conference they did what had been planned and the driver was able to deliver the lecture well. One of the guest, who is also a scientist asked one hard question. The driver replied:
Driver: That is an easy question, (looking at Einstein on his seat), Even my driver could answer that.