January 21, 2020

How am I?

My last post was dated July 2019 and it was my 7 months postpartum. Writing is something I really love to the core of my bones. There were days I miss the old times where I could tick the keyboard at any time of the day when I feel the urge to write and share something. Those were the days that my time were all mine to spare.

It's a mixed emotion reading the next post. It was March 2017 and I wasn't married yet. Now, I have two kids. I have a family. My time were not all mine to spare. Where did all those months, weeks, day, hours, minutes and seconds went? How did they just slip through? I actually feel guilty questioning how time went by without me noticing. I have kids and a husband...of course majority of those time were spent for them. I was just asking maybe because my old free spirit self is longing to be back and fused with my self now. I kinda forgot who I was when I embraced the new chapters of my life.I thought it was the best and noble thing to do. But I once read and I quote, "You cannot give what you do not have".... and in order for me to give the best of me to people I love, I should love and take care of my self first. It was indeed amazing how life passed by in the blink of an eye, but lessons were engraved in my heart and mind. Motherhood has taught me things for sure I will never learn if I didn't become one (those things will be on separate posts).  

As for now, I am trying to juggle and manage time for the family, work and hopefully on getting my self back together again. My desire for this year is to find the free spirit me who I lost in the process of improving the other versions of me.  

Image edited using Nichi

It's okay, I just forgot who I was in becoming who I am...but WELCOME BACK!


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