Changes

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. 

Don't resist them  -that only creates sorrow.

Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like"

~Lao Tzu

Image from here

Late last year, I was thinking of doing something that will bring a major change in my life. I hate changes. But if there's one thing I learned in life,  that is to embrace the changes. It wasn't easy and it didn't just occur to me overnight. I put much thought to it. Finally, after months of contemplating I came to a final decision. After 12 years, 4 months and 3 days, I AM GOING HOME.  I can't say for good, but for the time being.

Early this month, I filed my resignation letter. It wasn't easy too, thinking about the friends I'll left behind, the place I learned to love, the lifestyle I embraced and everything this place has to offer, not to mention my 5 years of stay in this company. But with all their heart, they granted my request, with warm wishes for my success in my new endeavors in life, knowing that I am answering the call of my vocation. The profession, I think I was really called for. 

This was also the reason why I wasn't able to join some events. I was busy with my requirements, travelling for 5 hours going back and forth but couldn't divulge the reason to everyone unless I was taken in. 

And so after all the exhaustion, I'll be back to teaching in a science high school where I graduated. When I filed my resignation, we're all teary eyed. But we're over it now. My friends and I were so excited about what the coming months and years has in store for me. I already have seminars and training lined up for the coming school year.

Leaving the city maybe bittersweet, but it's a decision made for the best. And I wouldn't want to say "goodbye" but rather "see you soon".

Life is just a cup of cake

I saw this photo while browsing Pinterest. Of course there is where people go when they would like to see mouth watering diy's, outfit style, home decor and furnishing and anything in between. 

photo source

How true that life is just a cup of cake I asked myself and suddenly I had a trip down memory lane. Maybe it was triggered by the fact that I saw someone last week ( a close family friend) whom we've lost in touch with since I moved to my new place. Like the old story, I was so eager to get out of the place then, hence, I never had the chance to drop by and bid my proper bye for now see you soon thing.

Okay, so I saw the couple when I was running errands. We did a little hi and hello and what's your number cause I am running late for a meeting. I sent them a message as soon as I boarded the public vehicle (I doesn't do it usually - the texting on PUV). I thought what made them lose weight was the old age factor, but I learned that their only child was battling cancer for three years now. That is exactly the number of years (almost) since I moved.

I really don't know what to feel, but if there's one thing I am thankful is that they are keeping their high hopes and strong faith. Really, that couple  earned my respect then and I awe them more now. 

Honestly, I felt shame. Comparing what they're going through, mine was just a piece of cake, but I almost let my world go tumbling down. 

Please include them in your prayers, that God's plan for their lives would be administered perfectly no matter how hard it maybe.

She broke her heart

"Everytime your heart was broken,

a doorway cracks open to a world full of new beginnings,

new opportunities"

-Patti Roberts

That's one of the thoughts I hold on to, when mine (heart) was badly broken. Brought not by courage or rational thinking but rather driven by the necessity to move on with life. 

But that's not the case for everyone. When the very organ that sustains life is put to test, the bearer can take various actions: either mend it or let it rot cell by cell. And when you chose to mend it, different actions can be taken. You can apply what was said above and explore new horizons or even distract yourself with a new love prospect. It works in some ways and it worked for me once but not always. It's a case to case basis.

When a friend of mine had her heart broken, she resorted to diverting her attention to a new love prospect. Not bad, I know. The only thing she did wrong was rushing things, like plucking a young mango fruit from the tree out of excitement without thinking that the fruit will rot in a short span of time. No matter how we tried to persuade her to take things slow and give her heart an ample time to heal, she did it anyway. Needless to say, everything didn't quite went well so this time, I thought she broke her heart. The hardest part now is to repair the heart which is dealing with two heartbreaks. 

Long story short, what will you expect from a relationship when both parties hadn't had the chance to know each other and accept each other's differences. It's like hunting for a unicorn in the deep blue see.

I don't want to go into details but I shared the story anyway so others could benefit from it. While such things worked for others it may not work for you so better be careful with your decisions. And it's better to mend your broken heart naturally, let time heal all wounds and believe me when I say, you will be proud of yourself in the end. It's like reaching the heights of Mt. Everest. 

And remember, love is like a mango fruit. You have to wait for the right time, so you can enjoy the sweetness it has to offer.

Confession of a once in hiatus blogger

I have to make a confession. Aside from the fact that I am really busy, I lost the desire to blog about just anything. I thought I needed time to think so I stayed away for a while, maybe in that way I can sort things out. My busy work schedule, what is happening out there which made my world go round and not to mention why I lost interest with something I so love doing. But even on those quiet times when I stayed away from the blinking cursor, I had to admit that I really missed this thing called blogging and the people I've come to know called friends.

Where did the old time went? It dawned on me that one of the factors why I had a temporary distaste to share anything was because I am missing old folks who were also away right now: blog friends who are in hiatus and those who decided to quit for good alike (if in any case you're reading this, which I know you do, just want to let you know that I'm missing you).

Reality knocked me down. It's not blogging that I want to stay away with, it's the prying eyes. I know this fact ever since and it's a shame I let it take the best of me. Everytime I try to write something, they ended up on my drafts and they soon piled up. One proof that I want to share it but afraid to do so.  

...............Until..................

One day, I realized that we're blogging for different purposes. Some wanted to share their thoughts while it's an outlet for others. One blogger once told me that I should always remember that I am also blogging for myself. When several people take interest of your writing, somehow you would feel happy but itchy and watchful as well. You would consider their feelings and thoughts, fearing that you would hurt someone unintentionally along the way or would cross the line somehow. But blogging is about respect too. Respect for other people's feelings and opinions. Bloggers have different genes and creative abilities and so as their way of sharing. With that I rest my case especially when I read the words below:

Each of us has a fire in our hearts burning for something.

It's our responsibility in life to find it and keep it lit.

This is your life and it's a short one.

Don't let others extinguish your flame.

Photo borrowed from Talentedo

A blog which is home to gorgeous photos 

and few words full of substance.

The Directress

Directress. That is what we call the owner of the previous school where I taught. I am writing about her today since I had a dream about her last time. when I woke up I was all sweaty and tired. Maybe for a fact that I kept on dreaming about old memories and people who had been a part of my life and suddenly lost contact with.

Maybe I am missing the person. Knowing how kind she is, not only as a person but as an employer as well made me miss her more. I lost contact with her and our last conversation was when the day I bid goodbye. I never saw her since then. 

She's not only kind and generous to me and to everyone but she also make it a point that we know how valuable we are as a person and in the lives of our students. With her, I never felt that I am not worthy of praise and of what I've accomplished. 

She never let a good job pass without acknowledgment because she knew teachers and other staffs are putting their dedication and heart on the job well done. She's strict with classroom activities and all the matters that concerns the children. She will reprimand you for your mistakes but in a professional way that you will never lost your soul after talking to her.

Maybe, I should pay her a visit and let her know that she's been my role model for setting the standard of a good and ideal employer.

Sometimes, best things aren't planned

Another perk of having a birthday is the leniency towards vacation leave. 

Not that we're military strict but we have special rules applied. 

But since it was a special day they let me moved it at a later date. 

Two days vacation leave before weekend means awesome rest. 

People  asked me where's my destination. 

there's no itinerary, I just want to REFLECT (over something) and REST, that's all.

Yes, there's no need for a grand vacation. 

Told yah, anything that is too much is fatal so I just used the VL to experience how it feels to sleep at night during weekdays. But to add a bit spice to the lazy days, I had some time out too. 

And yes, I went home. The travel time is  tad exhausting but still worth it.

I did a lot of walking which is my kind of thing

interact with mother nature at its finest,

and....this is not a rest house, it's a church

Surprise??? me too!

another venture for a self proclaimed history buff

the famous bamboo organ 

and the good news, someone played it for me

The last two pictures were taken from two different places, to be specific - churches (Mary Immaculate Parish - Nature Church and St. Joseph Parish) . I'd never been to any of them before that's why I grabbed the opportunity offered on my table before heading home. It's not  like there's no other chances but opportunity sometimes knocks only once. And I was serious when I said REFLECT....need I say more?

Facebook

Who's using the new timeline?

It's been like ages and I couldn't remember the last time I opened my Facebook account except for this month. While people were so fond updating statuses and uploading pictures, I just lost my appetite for the said social networking site. Maybe because I became anti-social and blogging became my online world. I forgot that beyond the walls of my online journal is another place where my long lost friends were. We can update each other through text messages but seeing what I saw today on Facebook just gave me a hint of what I am missing. Oh well, I blame it all to the BUSY life.

I was never outdated with the new features but I never updated mine, after all I wasn't well fond of it like I was before. Again, blame on the BUSY life. 

I must admit, I love how the new timeline looks

more photos here

And now I am torn between the decision of updating or not. I am concerned with the security settings. If you're one of my Facebook friends, you know how much I protect the privacy not only of my own account but that of my friends as well, that's why you won't see who are they. Not to mention:

1. you can post on my wall but only me can see them

2. you can tag me on your photos but they will only be visible to me

3. my photos were shared to the intended audience (not to all)

4. search for me was off

5. "add friend" was enabled to friends of friends only

6. message was only open for friends

7. and so on

I opt for that kind of security not because I am leery but because I believe that we should all be responsible for what we share online. More and more crimes were becoming possible nowadays with the help of the social networking sites and with that, we have to be careful.

But I am glad that somehow I am learning to trust again and somehow in the long run be more open.

Reality bites, but don't be sad

Yeheey! at long last, today is the last day of my 2 weeks medication. After a hard battle with the seemingly endless fever which later accompanied by cough, I'm feeling better. I want to share a different story today but that could wait since this post would somehow help you be aware.

As you all know, I am having some problems with my nose. I forgot to share the updates after I went to the ENT several months ago, but the doctor found out I have Atrophic Rhinitis, a type of rhinitis caused by the thinning of the nasal membrane. Not much information about it was shared on the internet. I tried to Google it several times but would only show sites with technical terms. Until today, I came across this website. Limited information was also given but it caught me between acceptance and freaking when I read the complications.

I don't recall if the doctor mentioned the case to me but I can't remember any, maybe because I was so woozy that time. To continue the story, there are two complicaitons (1.) Rhinorrhoea  and (2.)Anosmia  by which based on my observation, number 2 is the prominent complication in my case then, I FREAKED OUT. Why wouldn't I? I know my smelling ability was reduced (which is one of my best abilities before), but knowing the fact that I am facing the circumstances of completely losing my sense of smell...I almost cried.

The second complication was also responsible for the colds I endured while celebrating New Year, which I thought was just a common cold but was not because it is once again another condition triggered by the allergen looming around the corner. I am glad I consulted the doctor before taking over the counter medicines for cough. It was irritating, it wakes me up in the middle of my sleeping hours. At first I couldn't believe the cough has something to do with my nose, but after the doctor's thorough explanation, I left the hospital hands up, head down.

The good news, I am feeling better but extra precautions should be taken because this is the season of the allergen. Just another hint of precaution, be careful with the medicines you take. It is better to visit your doctor to make sure you're getting the proper medication. If you notice something strange is happening in your body, health or what you feel, consult the expert at once. Be safe.

antihistamines will save my day from allergens.

Antihistamines have different effects to people. You'll feel sleepy but other's may experience palpitation. Those with 6 hours effect will really drive you to bed (in my case) but most of the times, I'm taking those with 24 hour protection.

Where did my time go?

We're on the middle of November and I can't stop thinking where did my time go. The year is about to end and  I had this feeling that my time goes to waste. But if I would take a look back to all the adventures, fun, laughter and tears - time didn't go to waste but there's a craving in me to do more of the time given to me.

In less than 2 months, 2011 is over. It's another year again and needless to say new beginnings for those who seek a new life. I myself doesn't follow new year's resolution. For me, it's a come what may situation. Just enjoy the time and what life has to offer. 

I am not making any new year's resolution because I am not good with it. I tend to procrastinate and throw my list on the bin. Same with bucketlist.  But who said I have to do/complete the list in a matter of short time? It's just me who put pressure to myself. I realized I have to do the list but I am not compelled to complete it at once. I just have to take the chance when opportunity knocks. 

Now, with no pressure, I am in the process of completing my list of all the things I wanted to do in my life even if it will take me forever to complete it. No pressure at all.

I'm Sorting Things Out

I've become sort of a lazy gal  due to overwhelming busy life I had the past few months. I just feel the need for enough sleep (I feel I'm deprived with sleep) and rest, until I realized I spend the rest of my precious hours doing nothing but sleeping. What a waste of time isn't it? So, before squandering the time I have on non-productive things, I should take my move to pursue the plans which are long forgotten and rekindle the interest on things I love to do.

I am glad to say I added a few addition to my stamp collections. It's been a long time and the only option I have is to buy them from local post offices because snail mail is no longer in. The rest of my collections were acquired through snail mails and gifts from friends so this was the first time I added a collection through buying. But don't worry they don't cost that much. So if anybody out there has some stamps left forgotten, AHEM, *cough-*cough....I'm here.

source

Next thing in line is putting documents together and completing the requirements for my Masteral's Degree. Yes, it's been an altered plan due to unexpected circumstances that blocks the way but now that things flow smoothly, I guess this is the right time to polish the plan so I could start as soon as second semester starts, if not at least I am ready for next year. I now have an intimate relationship with thick books to get my way ready for a long term study again.

source

These are few of the things I have in line while preparing for a long term plan. I will let you know soon as it gets to kicking but for now I will keep it a secret.

Negativity is striking us but I don't want to waste my energy on things that would hinder my way. I am glad that optimistic people surrounds me and I am happy that  way. I'd rather focus on things that will make me grow and appreciate life more. Besides life is too short so why waste it. Have fun and enjoy things that life brings. "When life gives you lemon, make lemonade"

My Cross this Lenten Season: One Year After

"Everyone had a cross to bear"

Lenten Season. The season for self denial and self-sacrifices. Upon hearing the gospel, I remember the last post I made last year entitled “My Cross this Lenten Season”.

photo credit

I can’t remember what I posted, but I know it was something of a burden I so carried heavily. During that time, hopes are with me that somehow I can manage to overcome and surpass everything. I am not going back to that moment again, I just want to analyze how far I was able to travel and the lessons I learned.

I would be a hypocrite to say I totally recovered. I don’t know the missing part but I know the certain link why I can’t totally forget the incident. But during that long year travel on a roller coaster ride, here I am still standing with a sound mind with I guess in a not so sound body but still I can manage.

I don’t have any intentions of awakening the past and scratch the old wound that had healed poorly and let myself be doomed to unmanageable stress, all I want is to share this question I had last year and how I got to find the answer.

Back then, my question is “Why do I have too many mountains and hills to climb in life?” And the answer is “for me to have a better view in life”.

It’s not easy to climb a mountain, but the climb itself is its own reward. Don’t give up. Go slowly, step by step. One day at a time. Don’t rush the climb. Learn from the climb, for he who climbs learns to travel light and leaves luggage behind. So if you are on a mountain climb right now, maybe God is freeing you from the unnecessary attachments and excess baggage that you don’t need in life. (Fr. Jerry Orbos, “One moment”).

If  not for that painful journey, I would never be this strong. What else the world would offer, I can take it with a smile and hope of a better tomorrow.

If not for the criticisms I received I would never learn to take account of other people’s feelings.

I they didn’t judge me I would never learn not to be judgmental and be fair with my perceptions/judgement.

If not for that incident I would never be given the chance for this break and realize the world has so much to offer.


BOW...wow...wow!!!

Back to Normal but with few Restrictions

Yes, I'm back but wasn't sure if I can post more. Time is really hectic and I am like a passenger running for the last minute ride on a train. Time seems to be scarce, yet I allow it to fade like it's not that important.

I am looking forward to a bright blogging comeback. I really miss doing this thing but before I came back, I made a decision that, what I will share will be limited only to things that people should know and  leave the private thing as private and personal as possible. I will still share my adventures in life but more often not too personal. So in doing that, I created a private blog which will be my diary and another one written in our national language.


When I have plenty of time, I will create more posts of every adventure and then will schedule them so that my blogger friends will be updated on my whereabouts...haha!

$1,000,000

Even if you have faith as small as a mustard seed....

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE

Matthew 17:20

Not known to everydoby, I have this money magnet. It is said that this will attract money whereever you placed it and that when money begins to pour, it comes so quickly and in such great abundance that you will wonder where it has been all those lean years.

Who doesn't want and need money? Not me, of course we all need this to survive but don't get me wrong. What attracted me to get this stuff is the "Mustard Seed" stuck inside that circle on the picture.

I always hear people say when we believe, even if our faith is small as a mustard seed, nothing is impossible. But what the heck does a mustard seed looks like? So now I know -- and everytime I feel like the world is falling down on my shoulder, I will embody the Abundant State of Mind and always believe that tomorrow will be a better day.

Detective Sey

Am I really that famous? Nope, I doubt it! Really!!! but caution guys....please bear with this post, btw thanks to Super Gnetch. 

What's the feeling of waging war with someone you don't know? It's like punching the wind with no idea when it will strike back. Yeah!!! That's it...

I've been incognito for some personal reasons and some of you my readers would have known the reason because I confided with you (through email of course) I never logged in to Facebook for a long time and when I tried to open it, pooop.....the password was changed. So someone really wants to know everything about me uhhh???, since it's so private and you can't even see who my friends are. Whoever did it, thank you for changing my password, now I have to deactivate the account for good because you also sent emails to my friends which I never did in my entire life would send to them. Glad my friends were kind enough to understand the situation, so you failed again....looser!

I appreciate the comments of my readers! That is the actual proof that they're reading what I write (thanks guys)!!! Of course comments would be related to the post, isn't it??? How come you would put a comment which is not related to the post? You think you can fool me??? nope you failed again.....looser!

My bloggy friends suggested that I should have a real vacation. Good for me I have a God given boss who understands and let me have my indefinite leave for a while so that I could catch up with the health, depression and one other thing. Of course this come with certain agreement that I should report to the office sometimes if I can, but I have to attend to my emails at home or where the hell I would go. That is the reason I should be awake at night but at least I am on the comfort on the people who would understand and love me despite what happened (my family and friends). One of my officemates set-up an opera browser on my phone so that I could keep track with my email and with my blog and when I have to call someone they're willing enough to do the calls for me..(that's how supportive they are). So whenever I woke up even at late midnight I could check emails. ( so just you know!!)

btw, this is my Google calendar. There I put my schedules. It shows that I visited 2 friends in my hometown last May and June.  Just want to share with you guys so that if you want to meet me I can set the date. I'm forgetful. 

Just a reminder to those who were trying to prank me, well guys, don't be bitchy, for all you know, I'm a detective, I have IT's beside me and I have an analysts who is just one text away. How come you would see me when I'm not there and what a coincidence you know where I live? So fishy!!!

to be continued.....

Looking Back

Guys I am for a fact still alive but on a vacation. I had a writers block this past few days. I have so many posts on my drafts waiting to be posted. Though I am not writing anything, I am still reading your post using Google Reader, and forgive me for not leaving a comment.

I remember the old days when I started blogging for personal reason. I wanted to find a niche and a place where I could pour out my emotions and share everything so that my heart would be lighter. I joined blogger last February 2009 but I wrote an article about Lifes Uncertainty on the 8th of May 2009. Those times when the only reader of my blog is ME and the only person who leaves a comment is ME too. There were times I leave a comment on my posts and then myself will answer back to the comment (insanity). Each posts were written with a quote I googled which jive with the topic, but the truth is I included the quotations to give myself a boost and a go for the gold spirit enlightenment  whenever I feel down. See, when you feel down, the only bestfriend you have is yourself, so cheer-up! At least you have yourself.

Then came the day I took interest with photography and posted my first photos of The Tree and the The Tree Under the Tree. These were memorable because that was the day I had my second follower. She is TB of Year 31. I was really happy and still happy because she's still reading my posts. I bragged about it in the office telling them that a beautiful American girl is reading my posts. LOL!!! Thanks TB.

Whoa!!!, blogging took me to the highest level. I couldn't imagine I would meet  wonderful friends on the blogosphere, but I did and looking back to the older posts made me feel so blessed and go back to my blogging senses again. Thank you guys for the support.

And while I was absent my wonderful friends Mitch, Janjan and Rachel gave me the Sweet Blog Award.

thanks to Mitch, Janjan and Rachel

and because I am so happy with all my readers who are so kind to me, I am passing this award to all of them. Thank you so much guys.

I wanted to do this as well. Another wonderful friend, NYC Island Gal was nominated for BlogLuxe 2010 Award. Please drop by and vote for her. She is under the "Best Eye Candy" Category. Simply click on the picture below and you will be directed to the voting page:

for NYC Island Gal

CONFESSION: I read NYC Island Gal post. It made me ponder for a moment and when motherhood knocks, I will name my first baby "Peavey".

Question? Where did you get the name of your first baby or what would be the name of your first child? What do you think about the name "Peavey"?